The Magic Formula

Indian City Formula

I've worked out a formula in the five days I've been here that gives added meaning to Indian city life. This important formula allows taxi drivers to work out how often they should beep their horns and goes as follows:

Moving away from standstill or slowing down to a stop or any car visible through the windscreen or any turning made* = 2 two short blasts.

*(it seems beeping has replaced the seemingly superfluous art of slowing down, using mirrors and indicating, that is commonly used in other countries).

Car encroaching within 3 metre radius or any car, tuk-tuk slower than the taxi or any bicycle, pedestrian = 3 (two short and one long).

The formula is exceptionally accurate but what doesn't include is that taxi drivers will hoot every

thirty seconds anyway, regardless of whether they are stationary, moving, stuck in traffic or cruising down a deserted road (not that this happens often). This is probably to make sure that the horn is working in case of one of the emergencies mentioned in the formula.

Millions of black and yellow cabs infest the cities.

It certainly seems to be the most important part of the taxi in the view of most drivers. I have seen taxis driving past with crumpled bumpers, flat tyres, smoking engines and every other type of malady. Yet only once have I seen any repairs being carried out. It was in Mumbai, on the side of a dual-carriage way and I saw a taxi driver jump out of the car with the engine running, open the bonnet tweak something, lean in the window and give two lusty blasts of the horn to make sure it was indeed fixed before grinning like a madman, hopping in and speeding off with the correct number of accompanying hoots.

Not sure what 'Yeh the horns working so lets go' in

Hindi is but I'm sure I could learn it from these guys.

And what I love is that there are never any bad intentions, it is simply to let everyone know that they are there and that their horn is still working and more often than not they break into smile at the sound of their own horn. It is like the call of a baby penguin that a mother or father can recognise in the midst of thousands of others in the colony. I reckon if you took a taxi driver and showed him hundreds of identical taxis he would be able to identify his by the sound its horn makes, so well acquainted is he with its tones. Indeed the first Hindi phrase I learnt from Deepak was 'haren dina' which literally means 'beep beep'.

And of course it is not limited to taxis - other cars, tuk-tuks, trucks and buses all make their presence well known while it also appears to be a legal requirement for bicycles to have a bell – but taxis are by far the worst offenders.

This sign can be found on the backs of vehicles owned by

those most committed to the cause, (mostly taxis).

It does, I have to admit get a little wearing on the nerves, it is incessant and when on foot there is nothing to isolate you from the wall of sound that is emitted from a traffic light turning green. However it is an essential part of the vivid Indian city experience and life here would be diminished without it.

Max